Start With Yourself.

Most women equate self-care with trips out shopping, Girl’s Day Out, Spa days, happy hour at the local drink tank, and so on. These are advertising gimmicks that people want us to believe. We often see self-care advertised as avenues to spend money on materialistic things. Things like getting our hair done, a facial, a massage, a beauty treatment, All-you-can-eat Buffet, or a new bottle of Rosé.

When did you last take time off from your everyday life to tend to your mental health and wellbeing?

Since self-care (according to general consensus) is directly proportional to getting pampered, when did you last spend guilt-free time just breathing, thinking about your life, contemplating, or just meditating in peace?

Self-care simply means identifying the missing parts of yourself – without putting others first. Most women have forgotten how to put themselves first. Many of us are primary caregivers for our children, spouses, or senior citizens, and we run ourselves ragged without realizing the consequences.
As nurturers and caregivers, we feel obligated to perform our duty first – even at the cost of our sanity. Shifting the priority meter from everyone-else to us makes most women uncomfortable. Our everyday life starts defining us instead of our choices. These choices or decisions made under the norms of our social, familial, economic, religious, and duty-bound obligations start rearranging themselves as priorities in our lives. What we don’t understand is the toll it takes on our mental health, stress levels, and bodies.

We are perfect examples of our tolerance. Ever notice how wine starts looking better by evening? Or eating nonstop helps keep the irritation at bay? These habits and temptations are actually trigger warnings.
Your body is literally telling you to stop and look around. Look at your life, your temper, your stress, blood sugar levels, poor sleep, dark circles, and aching feet.

Stop. Pause. Look at yourself. Introspect.

Turn away from the bottle of wine and the chips you want to gorge. Respect yourself enough to breathe in fresh air daily. Turn to gardening, sewing, writing, or listening to music. Play with your dog (without any interruptions). Speak to your mom (without arguing). Walking alone for twenty minutes or just disconnecting from family, friends, and social media can be a positive step in the right direction.
Mental health plays an active role in the lives of women today. Women are still primary parents (in case of most families) and need their sanity to function at an optimal pace. Staying healthy and in tune with yourself helps you stay fit, quit the bottle, dump the junk food, and become exemplary role models for your children and future generations.

You do not now, nor have you ever, needed anyone’s permission to stop and breathe in some fresh air.